- Ralph Wiggum
i keep seeing these "lost dog" signs for chihuahuas offering $500 or more as a reward upon return.
people... please. it's a chihuahua.* in my experience with a loving family dog, it will return home on its own, if physically possible. our dog would always come back to the hand that fed it... or at least to the neighbor's flower beds. (if you've had a legit breed of dog run away and not come back, something unfortunate must have happened OR you didn't earn its respect... i'll let you decide that.)
this leads me to a few theories on why so many chihuahuas stay missing.
1 - chihuahuas are a small, weak breed. more susceptible to injury in the "wild".
2 - perhaps chihuahuas are not that into you, being almost cat-like in their indifference to their owners.
3 - they freeze up like fainting goats and can't move. they are definitely the most paranoid breed i've ever encountered.
4 - they spend too much time in dog purses. if they get a chance to run, they're not looking back. my cousin got a dog stroller for christmas. ridiculous. THEY HAVE 4 LEGS, IT'S NOT A BURDEN.
would a new dog really cost that much more than $500? if so, i recommend you upgrade to a cheaper, more loyal, and heartier breed.
speaking of less hearty breeds... i think the word is spreading that my apt. complex is yapper friendly. my place seems to be surrounded by 'em. they serve as futile sentinels, who switch into ballistic-90-barks-per-minute hysteria at the drop of a hat. not cool. i'm pretty sure "pomeranian" comes from root words meaning effeminate demon rats.
*note: my beef is with offering such a hefty reward for such a lame breed, not for simply offering a reward for a lost dog... of course, anyone who can drop $500 to get a used dog back when they could buy a brand new one must have money to burn. i know how much a dog can mean to a family, but at some point, you gotta draw a line!